Is My Wife Cheating?
Are you asking yourself “is my wife cheating?” Stop obsessing and find out for sure! You’ll be even more devastated if you are the last to know that your wife is cheating.
If you have landed on this page you already suspect that your wife is cheating. Although the classic picture of an adulterer is a man cheating in his wife, the reality is that as many as 25% of married women have had an extra marital affair at some point (that’s the number who have admitted to it, so the real number is likely to be higher).
What other married women do doesn’t matter… there’s only 1 person you should be concerned about right now, your wife!
Obsessing and asking yourself constantly ” is my wife cheating?” is not resourceful. What is more helpful is to educate to yourself as to the top signs of infidelity in marriage and to learn how to gather solid evidence.
Look at the top signs of a cheating spouse below and casually run an inventory through your head. How many of these signs seem painfully familiar?
Remember that none of these in isolation are definitive proof that your wife is cheating, but the more of them that apply, the greater the chances that you are a victim of an affair.
Her cell phone habits
Does your wife’s cell phone never leave her side pocket ? Most men lay their cell phone on the counter or dresser when they get home. If your wife never leaves her cell phone out where it can be viewed by all, if he frequently step away out of ear shot to answer a call, if she checks caller ID and don’t answer a call saying “it’s just so and so, I’ll call them back later” then there is definitely cause to be suspicious. If you can get a hold of her phone when he is sleeping or in the shower the first thing you’ll want to do is check her texts and call logs. No one is stupid enough to list their lover under their name in their phone. Typically they might just be listed by their last name, or listed under something else legitimate (example, Jane is her buddy. Maybe there are two or more listings for Jane. “Jane cell”, “Jane work”, “Jane home”) Maybe one or two calls to Jane’s work are normal. But numerous calls, at weird times of the day should raise a red flag. Also, if the call and text history is always deleted when you check your wife’s phone, that’s a clear warning sign that she has something to hide.
Her computer habits
Is your wife spending more and more time on the computer? Does she suddenly close the browsing window when you pass? Is she constantly browsing under “private browsing session” or is the browsing history deleted when you go to check it? Hey, maybe she just has a porn addiction Or maybe she is hooking up with old (or new) friends on social network sites or doing other legitimate things on the computer while IM (instant messaging) her lover. You should be aware that as well as using the computer as a vehicle to communicate with her lover, your wife could also be using it as a vehicle to find one. I am sorry to say that there are many dating sites out there where people can not only lie and say they are single, but they can plainly state they are married and looking for a hook up and run searches for people in their immediate area looking for the same. The internet is not always your friend. Be very suspicious if your wife is spending way more time on the computer than she used to.
Her increased work load
“Staying late at the office” is the classic cover story for people having affairs. It has the added bonus of lending to the excuse “please don’t call me when I’m working”. If your wife is paid hourly it’s easy enough to check if she has been getting paid for all the overtime. If she is salaried it can be trickier. If your wife has suddenly taken to putting in a lot more hours at work and is evasive or vague when you ask specifically what he has been working on or doesn’t share work anecdotes anymore, this can be a warning sign. If your wife is reluctant for you to get together with her work pals or go to office parties, there could actually be a huge red flag that she’s dating someone from work. In most cases though, the “I’m working late” is a cover for meeting someone outside of work.
Get into the habit of checking the odometer on your wife’s car. If she claims he worked late but the mileage indicates she has been driving more miles than needed to get to work and back, that could be a warning sign.
Her spending patterns
No cheating wife is stupid enough to put hotel and restaurant charges on your joint credit card. But does she have her own credit card that you may or may not be aware of? How about increased spending at the grocery store, the pharmacy or regular stores where they offer “cash back” when you pay with your ATM card. If your wife gets $40 back every time she goes shopping or to pick up household items you can quickly amass a stash of cash for spending on things without leaving a paper trail.
Do you know there are websites out there specifically giving advice on how to cheat without being caught? I am sorry to say that there are. Do you know that one of the top pieces of advice given is to join a gym? Think about it. This goes beyond getting in shape for your new lover. A gym membership can give your wife an awesome cover. First, it can account for why she is leaving the house for a few hours in the evening and the weekend. Second, she can come home all fresh and showered (and not smelling like her lover, or of having been intimate). Third, the gym locker is an excellent place for her to hide gifts to and from her lover, her extra cell phone that you have just for her lover and so on.
New hobby or friends
Has your wife taken up a new hobby? I knew a woman who had sex every Thursday night for 5 years while her wife thought she was at yoga class. No wonder she came home looking relaxed! Taking up a class or new hobby, especially if it is with a new circle of friends with whom you are unfamiliar and unlikely to run into is also a classic sign of infidelity. It offers a great cover and provides a regular date night for your wife and her lover.
New personal items
Is your wife suddenly have a new personal item that he wears all the time? A new watch? A new purse? Earrings or necklace perhaps. If it’s unlikely that he bought it for herself, be suspicious. She might give you a cover story that her girl friend or sister treated her, and only you would know if that is plausible or not.
Withdrawal of physical and emotional intimacy
Every marriage goes through ups and downs and this is often reflected in a change of intimacy patterns. Especially with young children in the house and a multitude of responsibilities many people are simply just too tired to have sex. But you know your wife well enough to know if it is simply a matter of too tired and too busy to make prancing around in lingerie a regular habit, or if indeed she is withdrawing from you. Have you suddenly stopped cuddling on the couch, kissing, holding hands? Does she seem tense when you try to give him a lingering hug? Even more painful than a withdrawal of physical intimacy, the withdrawal of emotional intimacy can be a big clue that an affair is either happening or seriously at risk of happening. When your conversations with your wife revolve mainly around the delegation of tasks and discussions of schedules, then you are on rocky ground.
Renewed attention to her appearance
Has your wife suddenly got in shape, lost those few vanity pounds, starting spending money or new clothes and grooming products? If you notice new underwear you should be very suspicious. Especially if it doesn’t appear to have been bought for your benefit. Does she have a new haircut, have her clothes suddenly taken a turn for the trendy or more youthful? These are all classic warning signs of infidelity in marriage.
Visiting the post office or bank frequently
Is it possible that your wife has opened a mail box at the post office? It would be much easier to have letters sent there along with credit card statements for the credit card you didn’t know she had, cell phone bills for the phone you didn’t know she had or bank statements for the separate bank account you didn’t know she had. If you have any indication or suspicion that your wife has opened a separate bank account stop reading now and go get a good lawyer on retainer. Seriously. A failed marriage is awful enough, without having to deal with the repercussions of a bad credit rating or a bankruptcy.